Fight or Flight ?

when your sense get seriously disturbed ..what is the natural reaction ? to fight of flight????. being the coward I am , I took flight ...why u ask???? Am always gonna be a brainless person that cant stand up for myself when it comes to the majority....subliminal messages since i was young to never defy that...they are your world...they always know what's right ...even your your old enough to make your own decisions....i've lost yet another fight . was it hard ?..well.....was it hard to blame an innocent person whom you so cared for deeply? he had no crime but loving me ....yet i repeatedly stomped on his dying heart .... was it hard to tell them that everything was their fault .... your whole world came crashing down because of them ...even though the truth remains that you were selfish...selfish and cowardly to admit that you are totally scared....so he ask ...what makes me different from those m@(&$*fu^&# that talked about him....truth is ...it doesnt make me any different ...if anything it's worse....im the hidden dagger that stabbed him ... i've gotten senseless they told me ....don't i know whom i am dealing with?....question is " do they know who they are dealing with?...no idea but the past preconception . i looked in myself today and saw nothing but dust ...dust that can be blown anywhich way the winds says. so i say im looking for substance....i've turned into something hardly recognizable.....i'll always look back and wonder ..maybe even with regrets " what could have been???"...goodbye to the person i always wanted but never gave a chance to.

the spineless jellyfish known as ME

who has the audacity to treat another person the way they do????? who has the power to judge someone like that ?????.....i do ..the spineless, courageless, braveless person with no heart of my own to make a decision ....sorry doesnt mean anything when all the numbness passes... i will be here ..alone ..a three year progress must be laid to rest .....the hurt , anger , pain .....its all paralyzed and frozen. There is no such thing as my OWN happiness. I wish you know and just lived in my shoe for one day....the pain that is felt when i cant even tell you the real feeling that i have for you....i cant even reach for you when your hurt......you dont see the acid that burns my cheeks...you dont see the stone that set in my eyes....and the partial heart that is barely beating ...the lungs that are at a lose of air. I hope one day you understand that it was REAL ....the timing was WRONG ...I am Wrong ......for apoligizing to the one that will never accept it.

Devil Child

When you grow up you experience different things, have different outlooks in life ...some maybe good ...some may be bad ...some unexpected......at 27 years of age ..i may have finally hit those changes ...i dont wanna be who i was ..i finally wanna stand up what i believe is right without explaining to anyone ..and suddenly i'm devil child. Currently washing away my sinful mind.

Getting Coined!

Man i've been down with the meanest cold that just wont go away....so i got coined!!!!! actually it didnt hurt as much as i expected...but i actually feel better ..

Financial Frustration

After the holidays...i'm pretty sure everyone feels some financial distresssssss....mine i is with a capital D....u think to yourself "how can this happen?????? ive always keep my moola issues under control.....wat the hell is going on ????..now the issue is finding a job...easier said than done..esp now more than ever.....at this point my willing to sell my soul to the devil...lol...or any donations would be acceptable....debt is a horrible feeling...so if you feel my pain and somewhat sympathetic..please send your donations to...Poorcollegegirl@nohome.com..... so take ot as a lesson learned from me....never spend with an overdraft account...

Mission Castor Oil

So today i picked a bottle of castor oil at a local walmart. why you ask ? well not because im having some plumbing issues but .... because some fellow beauty blogger suggested it for lash growth....yah i was totally suprised myself....supposedly it suppose to strenghten your lashes and make them grow....nothing like the bourgoise revitalash ...but the ratings are pretty good...we shall seee. i will definately update..

New Year New Blog

A blog wont be complete without a new years resolution. So i suppose I should list mines.

• Obviously lose weight. Not alot just about 15 lbs. Overall, be a little more healthy.
• Stop being so self conscious.
• Travel more. See the world.
• Be open to new experiences and adventures
• Be humble. Seriously what really matters????? Is it that serious to stress over?