Fight or Flight ?

when your sense get seriously disturbed ..what is the natural reaction ? to fight of flight????. being the coward I am , I took flight ...why u ask???? Am always gonna be a brainless person that cant stand up for myself when it comes to the majority....subliminal messages since i was young to never defy that...they are your world...they always know what's right ...even your your old enough to make your own decisions....i've lost yet another fight . was it hard ?..well.....was it hard to blame an innocent person whom you so cared for deeply? he had no crime but loving me ....yet i repeatedly stomped on his dying heart .... was it hard to tell them that everything was their fault .... your whole world came crashing down because of them ...even though the truth remains that you were selfish...selfish and cowardly to admit that you are totally scared....so he ask ...what makes me different from those m@(&$*fu^&# that talked about him....truth is ...it doesnt make me any different ...if anything it's worse....im the hidden dagger that stabbed him ... i've gotten senseless they told me ....don't i know whom i am dealing with?....question is " do they know who they are dealing with?...no idea but the past preconception . i looked in myself today and saw nothing but dust ...dust that can be blown anywhich way the winds says. so i say im looking for substance....i've turned into something hardly recognizable.....i'll always look back and wonder ..maybe even with regrets " what could have been???"...goodbye to the person i always wanted but never gave a chance to.